Both Judaism and Christianity are notorious unsacramental. Objects are not divine, and practices don't earn anything. In Judaism, when the temple was destroyed, the priesthood disrupted, and the sacrifices discontinued, Judiasm kept right on ticking. Those things had their place, but were not necessary. In the same way, original Christianity is about as "unreligious" and unsacramental as you can get. There were no priests, no temples, no sacrifices, no holy objects—nothing of the sort. God was what was holy. (It's only later that all this sacramental stuff was added in, but it sure ain't in the Bible or in the early practices.) In the New Testament, people don't have any holy power or grace to confer at the wave of a hand. There were no transactions from special people to confer special graces on unspecial people to make them special too. These things are foreign to Christianity. As such, the baptism of an infant doesn't confer any special grace or status. God's forgiveness is never issued to unknowing (or unwilling) parties, but always at the request of a amenable individual. (There is a lot more to say here, but I don't want to write a wall of text.) In the Bible, baptism is a willful act on the part of an individual to identify with Christ in his death and resurrection (under the water, up out of the water). Water baptism is an attestation of the presence of the Spirit (intentionally and willfully received) experience a believer has already had. To have a godparent "stand in" is sheer cultic sacramentalism—ritual ablution pure and simple, and is has no meaning and no effective consequence.

If you're agnostic, and your husband is atheist, there is no sense in baptizing a child, which is an act supposed to be done by a willing adult (not a unknowing child) to pledge identification with and commitment to a God—that you don't even believe in. Doesn't make sense to me.

I'm trying to get some perspective, here. Let me start off by saying I'm an agnostic (raised Christian, thought I was, was faced with communion and realized I couldn't commit to professing faith about something that big without more evidence) and my husband is unapologetically atheist.

Both our families are predominately Christian. After the birth of our son, we were pressured to have him baptized. My husband is against the idea; I am not comfortable in professing faith in Jesus Christ and committing to raising our son in a Christian household when I am not sure what I believe.

One family member put us in touch with a pastor who encouraged us to consider having a "godparent" who would profess the faith in our stead and who would stand with our son when he's baptized. I think this is a great compromise and even my husband is willing to go along with this.

So I started making plans. Some family members have accepted this compromise and are happy to participate. Others have told me that I'm missing the point and that it's fake and that I'm basically lying in a house of God - which is exactly what I was trying to avoid.

Anyone have any insight/perspective? Should I abandon the whole exercise? Should I try to convince the family members who think I'm lying? Is there a way to make everyone happy? (Probably not, but one can dream).