I'm curious: What *crazy* stuff?

> it takes thousands of years

Everything happens by progress and change. It's impossible to live in this dynamic world of time and motion for there to be no such thing as process and progress. It's no surprise to me that humanity also has process and progress.

In addition, we know that we humans learn and change only slowly, over time, and with much repetition. For God to play through his plan of salvation over the course of time and history is tapping into the ways humans learn and remember.

What is it that's "unrealistic"?

> I have literally felt like God himself spoke to me. I don't write it down and claim to be God's voice on earth. I just think my brain is doing interesting things.

Yes, and God does that for most, if not all, of us. So we know that something very different is going on when it comes to the Bible. The authors knew it was something different. Many times (Isaiah and Jeremiah are classic examples, but you can find it all over the Bible) the text says, "And the Lord said..." They knew it was something different than a liver shiver of God speaking to them in the way you are talking about (and I have had the same experiences, as have many people, but nothing that I'd write down and claim to be God's voice on Earth). So something must have been different for the authors of the Bible that they knew this was to be recorded as God's voice on Earth.

This is a good start. Let's talk some more.

It's the idea that God has to do all this crazy stuff and it takes thousands of years and has to send Jesus to save us. It's just all so... Unrealistic. I often feel that the bible is just one idea of God and not a truth.

I have literally felt like God himself spoke to me. I don't write it down and claim to be God's voice on earth. I just think my brain is doing interesting things.

Doubt spurs us to ask questions, to seek the truth, to dig for evidence, and to sort things out. There's nothing wrong with any of those, and therefore there's nothing wrong with doubt that leads us to find out what's true and what's not.

So let's take it a step further. Instead of asking "How should one deal with doubt?", what are your questions? Ask your questions and we'll talk, seeking the truth about them.

I wish I believed without doubt, but I'm afraid it will never go away no matter how much I try to convince myself. I don't want to go to hell, but I can't help doubting.