Nah you dont gotta worry, I'm cool. The cuts I did manage to get in are not try it again. But thanks for your concern

I'm glad you've written. You sound like you're more than desperate and feeling beyond hope. I know that such feelings are really difficult to deal with, and you feel like ending your life is the best choice. Please find someone who can help you. You can call 1-800-273-8255 to talk to someone. There is help for anyone who will reach out for it. Don't end your life.

Can God see the future, and are you meant for something more? Yes yes yes absolutely, on both counts. God is always at work in the world. It is close to impossible to interpret our circumstances in terms of spiritual things, but even at the least I can say that you have another chance to get help, to feel the support of people who care, and to take your life in a different direction. I can say with certainty that God can see something in the future and He knows you're meant for more than this. Call the number. Write back. Let's talk.

Alright well the full story is I've been going though some stuff that has caused me to develop a drug problem. All sorts of drugs like weed, adderall, LSDs, you get the point. I felt like absolute shit. So I decided today I was gonna kill myself the Hannah Baker way (bathtub, vertical cut). However, I found out that my water was broken so the bathtub couldn't drain the water and it made dirty. I managed to clean it anyways filled it up, got in the bathtub, and then I started cutting. But, apparently the knife wasn't sharp enough so I started getting desperate and started cutting my arm like it was a steak as hard as I could, I cut pretty bad but not enough to do some serious damage and eventually gave up. This isn't the first time either about a year ago I tried to OD. I got sick and people could tell I was in bad condition but I just waited a few days and I was all better. I started thinking and thought maybe God can see something I can't (the future) and knows I'm meant for more. Does god know 100% if you're destined for something?