I would say you do not. First of all, why would you want to spend eternity with a God you don't love, have rejected, and walked away from? Heaven is for people to spend eternity in relationship with God, and it seems that you have no interest in that.

Secondly, 2 Timothy 2.12-13 says that if we disown God, He will disown us. This is not describing a temporary weakness of faith, but an intentional repudiation of relationship with Him, which sounds like where you are at.

I believe quite confidently that we can't lose our salvation but we can give it away, which it sounds like what you have done. In the Gospels when people asked Jesus to leave, He did (Nazareth, Gadarenes). He doesn't stay where He's not welcome. You are saying He's not welcome in your life, but you wonder if He will welcome you to heaven. My assessment is "no". Jesus will not vouch in heaven for anyone who has refused to have anything to do with Him in their time on earth.

Revelation 2.10 says those who are faithful will reap the reward. Rev. 2.26 says that those who do the will of God "to the end" will receive the prize. You've left in the first lap of the race, and it seems you're wondering if you can still get a medal. I don't think so.

I was once saved but no longer believe. Do I go to heaven? I have wondered about this for years now.

When I was 11 or 12 or so, I prayed to accept Jesus as my personal Lord and saviour at a non-demoninational church.

At the time, I understood what that meant and thought I felt Jesus and the Holy Spirit “working inside me.” After that, I thought I had a personal relationship with God, regularly prayed, sought answers for life through bible study, fellowship and prayer.

But by age 18, I couldn’t ignore inconsistencies with the Bible and my understanding of people and science. After a year or so of uncomfortable cognitive dissonance and doubts of God’s existance, I began to wonder if God existed at all.

Ten years later, I am very confident that I made the right decision in abandoning my beleifs.

My question is: do people such as me who asked for forgiveness once in good faith but have since discarded spirituality go to heaven?