I attend church with my Christian wife almost every week. I am atheist, but I go with her to support her. I've also benefited by developing great friendships in our close-knit church community. We live in a large city, and this church is literally across the street, my front door is adjacent to the church front door.
So for a little background, it is Presbyterian, and pretty traditional with the theology but pretty progressive with the culture: come as you are, alot of diversity, it is a recent church plant of like 7 yrs. In the last 3 yrs I've developed a close personal relationship with our pastor, so I feel like I'm not the average attendee. What I mean is we have dinner at each other's house, I've driven his kid to baseball practices, and picked him up from the airport. I've helped him with renovations at his house, and I have spent dozens and dozens of hours doing maintenance at the church...fixing the AC during the summer heat wave, etc. We have opened our home for weeks at a time to volunteers that were helping at summer camp, etc. I have keys to the building, ya know, I'm in the inner circle. I don't say this to show how great I think I am, but to illustrate that my wife and I are very close with the leadership there. And they have been there for us big time when we were in need.
Ok, so now the conflict. Normally I pretty much ignore most of the sermons, because I simply don't believe in a personal god. But I often am able to glean some reminders and lessons that are useful...things about forgiveness, tolerance, being selfless, etc. But recently we started going through Romans in the sermons, and I have to say that every time we discuss Pauline scripture I find how the Pastor interprets it to be very distasteful.
So it started with last week, and I feel like he is just constantly railing on and villianizing non-believers. Last week, the big take-aways were that every person KNOWS in their heart that God exists, but non-believers are simply pretending not to believe, and denying what has been made obvious through General Revelation. He gave no examples of this apparent GR except for the fact that we are all here (creation). He stated that non believers are actively at war against God. And then he made some other crazy statements like if someone asks for evidence of God, the fact that they are asking is evidence in itself. Ok, so what?...I found that sermon just intellectually dishonest, but not particularly offensive.
But this week he started really getting insulting. He related the Greek translation for the word fool (or something like that ) and explained how its the base for the English word: Moron. He said almost gleefully how the bible clearly says that non-believers are morons. He went on with saying how humans were made for worshiping God, and how the foolish atheist instead chooses to worship themselves, or every other sensual, depraved and impure pleasure of the flesh (quoting ephesians ) And he also made some trite comments about how people who worship animals by having a relationship with pets is somehow terrible too. (I have no kids, but a dog and 2 cats that I do love very much). I am paraphrasing alot, of course, but honestly I just felt extremely insulted the entire time. I walked out after the sermon, I just didn't want to be there anymore.
It wasn't always like that. When we 1st started going we were studying Mark, and obviously the gospel content was always spun with a message of love and unity, not division. I just don't understand what the point is of speaking out so hatefully against folks like me who he claims are welcomed there. I have often encouraged some atheist friends to come some Sunday because of how different this church is. But if they would have come today (this last service) I would have been embarrassed and ashamed for bringing them to the insult fest. What about this is supposed to win the hearts of the non-believer?
And if he meant it only for the believer audience, what kind of message is that?...Saying that there is nothing good, ever, in any thought/action/word/desire of the non-believer because they are godless. And that the non-believer is such a fool and moron for denying Jesus. It's a double standard, because they are a Calvinist church, and they also preach that there is nothing any person can do to affect the outcome of their own salvation, and it is only by the grace of God that a person is saved. And god elects that some people do not receive his grace by his own sovereign will. So how is an atheist a moron for not accepting God? It's not even our choice according to the doctrine!
Ok, so there it is in a nutshell. I am really hurt that my pastor who I truly love and respect could be so publicly cruel towards my own affiliation. I feel like I don't even want to go anymore...why should I sacrifice my time on Sunday just to be insulted? I am just really conflicted about what to do. I recognize that all he said is a necessary part of the theology, I know he wasn't speaking to me personally, and I don't think I am owed an apology or anything. There is so much in the bible to study, why would he focus on that which is so negative and divisive?