by jimwalton » Fri Apr 17, 2015 9:16 am
Great question, and its answer is a judgment call, not a set list. There are many proverbs of life that contradict each other; we must use our discernment to know which to use when and for how long.
"Fools rush in where angels fear to tread."
"He who hesitates is lost."
It's the same for our theology. The Bible teaches us to wait on the Lord; it also teaches us to walk instead of sitting around. We have to always be seeking the Lord to know which is the order of the day, and which is appropriate for our particular situation. It keeps us extremely humble and complete dependent on God. We don't even know whether to step or pause until we have consulted Him. It forces us to rely on Him in complete dependence every moment of every day, which is exactly the place God wants us.
But we also know that God doesn't write on the wall for us, and so we are remiss to sit around all day waiting for a liver shiver. No, we have to act, risk, launch, and believe. Such are the judgment calls of life, and every day is filled with them. We pray to the Lord, we seek His face, we walk in the Spirit, and we DO, sometimes rightly and sometimes wrongly. When we flub, we repent and re-orient; when we succeed, we acknowledge God in worship and thanks and move on.
So also in our apologetics. Jesus and Paul hung into conversations as long as they thought there was hope of truth penetration. When they perceived there was no more hope (as far as we can tell), they bowed out.
I usually try to keep my conversations to a few exchanges. If the Lord is at work, he can continue his work without me, or bring them back to me; if He's not at work, it's good for me to get out. If He's at work, they'll come back for more, or he'll send them to someone else for more. I have to always be careful that I'm seeking his truth, and not the thrill of the chase. It's a matter of daily dependence. I want to witness, not badger—to speak the truth in love, not win an argument. It's a really fine line of prudence.
I find, though, that a number of people who come to me just want to fight. I'll go a few rounds to witness to the truth, but then I'm out. I'm not there just to fight or to win an argument. (After a while, I can tell they're ignoring my argument anyway.)
I'll only hang in longer than a few rounds if I really sense the Lord at work. Most of the time, in a few rounds I've said what I have to say anyway, and the conversation starts to circle back in noticeable ways. Then I know it's time to get out. if the Lord's at work, they'll continue to mull it over. If not, I don't want to be part of a conversation where the Lord isn't at work.
I hope that helps. It's not a set thing but a judgment call. Jesus rarely went more than one or two rounds with people, then he was out. He spoke the truth and was not interested in the debate. Either God was at work or he wasn't.
Debates rarely win the day, though they are important to break down strongholds and to create disequilibrium of thought, introducing (hopefully) that "aha" response. Always gentle and respectful, we witness to the truth of the content and basis of our faith, letting people see the treasure that we have, and then we're out. Let the Lord work.