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[Reconnoiter]

Hey Jim,

My best friend for more than 15 years said some things that I would like your overall opinion on. His life hasn't been easy by any means. He had a drug abusing manipulative mother and then married a manipulative self absorbed woman that ended in a divorce. He lives in an apartment, can't afford a house, but has a decent job. He does therapy and his outlook is improving but even I can agree that life is mundane and difficult at times for all of us. So here are his words. What kind of encouragement would you give?

"I swear when I meet Jesus I am gonna be like: you know, we could have skipped that. Super cool to go through this trial before I was let in the club in the sky. I already always feel indebted to him. I wonder if that’s part of my angst. Like… well all the good that comes into my life is because God decided it. And all the bad is because of my decisions. So I’m nothing good yet he loves me. And my ego wants to be good. But maybe it’s because I just don’t want to have to feel loved. Idk. Probably some weird psychology to it. Guilt driven thinking covered in narcissistic desires. It’s enough to blow your own brains out and not care where he assigns you after. The worst part is knowing that I’m just feeling frustrated and that even if I could tell God off, I’d be wrong. And I can’t ever make my point to God because he’s God. He knows all and I am nothing compared to him."

[jimwalton]

Sounds like the guy has had a rough life, to say the least. I've read it over several times, trying to think of something wise to say, but it's hard to fully show you how empty my head is.

What comes to mind is this, which isn't saying much:

Y'know, when I look through the New Testament, about 90% of the prayers we get to read about pertain to spiritual things, not to life circumstances, trouble, pain, emotional distress, or health. And the other 10%, where the people do pray about circumstantial things, it almost never gets answered. The upshot is that God came to give us spiritual life, not to save us from the griefs that life sends our way. Actually, in the NT, I can't think of many promises that you'll have a better or easier life if you come to Jesus. What it says instead is that life will be tough (maybe even tougher for Christians than non-Christians), wear a helmet, and find your comfort in what God has done for you spiritually. He came to save us from sin, not to make life easy. What God promises is salvation from sin and death, and in return we give Him our love, worship, and that we become good people.

James 1 says that God only gives good, not bad, but I'm not sure it's accurate to say that everything good that happens is God's doing (like getting a job we want).

What does it mean, then, that "God loves me"? It means He came to Earth to die for me to save me by His grace. You'll notice that the NT says that the "gifts" God gives are the Holy Spirit and the manifestations of the Spirit for the common good (1 Cor. 12.7). The blessings He gives are spiritual blessings. When we expect the garden of roses and a life of blessing and it doesn't happen, we feel cheated or like we're just unworthy people. Not so. Where does God say ANY of that in the New Testament? It says neither that we can expect earthly blessings nor that the reason is because God was dishonest or we're unworthy.

Feel free to talk back with me. I don't know if I'm hitting what you were hoping to get.