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[Big Dad]

Where in scripture does it say it is wrong to masturbate or watch pornography when you have no wife and are not committing adultery?
I know it says not to look at a woman with lustful eyes or whatever, but does it really? I mean it’s kind of impossible to meet a woman you fall in love with without envisioning the two of you making love. Right?

[jimwalton]

The Bible never says it's wrong to masturbate or to watch pornography. What seems to be wrong is treating people like things. In Matthew 5.28, Jesus says that sexual desires affect the inside of a person, and that inappropriate sexual desires are sin. Sometimes masturbation is a sexual outlet, but sometimes masturbation is lust, so we can't just make blanket statements (or under-the-blanket statements!). Maybe while one is relatively harmless, the other is degrading people into things and sexual objects to be craved, which is sin. We need to be attuned to sinful thoughts and work to eliminate them from our lives—they are clearly sources of sin. Sinful actions stem from sinful thoughts. To the Jews of Jesus's day, if the sexes had social contact, lust was unavoidable and inevitable. They taught protection by separation and seclusion. Jesus's teaching was different: lust is a choice, and therefore is a matter of the heart and mind. If our masturbation is a craving after something that will lead us to moral wrong, then we dare not engage in it. Many Christian counsellors and scholars think quite strongly that masturbation is not necessarily or automatically wrong, and therefore it's fine. Maybe the masturbation itself is fine, but the thoughts that may or may not accompany it are where the problem lies.

As a side thought, pornography is often part of masturbation. A guy named T.C. Ryan says, "To say that porn cheapens our sexuality doesn't go far enough. Porn magnifies human sexuality, distorts it, makes it larger than reality, and isolates it for trade. It makes the magnificence of being a creature made in the image of God something as insignificant as a sheet of paper or a glob on a screen. It's a most malicious smearing of the divine image in us. Simply put, porn is uncompromising, progressive, destructive evil." And Tim Stafford says, "Let's be realistic. There are lots of things in the world that are worse than pornography. But we need to stay away from it. Why? Like any cheap substitute, pornography detracts from the real thing. If you get used to thinking about sex in the quick, easy, uninvolved Internet way, you'll have a harder time mustering the energy to take it more seriously in relationships with real live men and women. Pornography is like junk food. It may seem harmless, but it's habit-forming, and habits are powerful. And it's ultimately destructive." Porn is a side-issue to masturbation, but obviously related.