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Proverbs 18:22 and God’s Favor

Postby Sparing Link » Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:29 am

In the ESV, Proverbs 18:22 says
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Does this imply that I do not have God’s favor if I do not have a wife? This seems to suggest that either
A. I do not have God’s favor, and therefore he hasn’t given to me a spouse.
B. I don’t have a spouse, and because I don’t have a spouse I simply don’t have God’s favor.
C. Any man who finds a wife automatically receives God’s favor by simply being married to her, so being married is a way to guarantee God’s favor while being unmarried could imply you may or may not have God’s favor.
D. God’s favor is quantitative, meaning I can have either more or less of it, and having a wife is one way to gain some of His favor.

Now I realize that the Proverbs are general principles of wise living for God’s people and that not all of it is simply cold, hard, definitive, “do this and you’re guaranteed a good life” list of instructions. I also realize that, knowing some of the cultural context, it could be related to the fact that a man would be the sole provider for that woman and that she would now have a way to be taken care of. That perhaps the Lord has favor on the man because the man is doing the Lord’s justice by entering into that relationship and accepting the responsibilities that come with it. Could you elaborate on this passage for me?
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Re: Proverbs 18:22 and God’s Favor

Postby jimwalton » Fri Feb 28, 2020 4:34 am

Thanks for writing. Glad to talk. We can go back and forth a few times on this if you'd like.

First of all, the style of literature is a proverb. It means it's a general truism, but not a promise or a guarantee. All it's saying is it's wonderful when a man finds a good woman.

> Does this imply that I do not have God’s favor if I do not have a wife?

No, it doesn't imply that at all. Jesus didn't have a wife, and He had God's favor (obviously). Paul said in 1 Cor. 7.8 that there are sometimes good reasons to stay unmarried.

Now I'll roll down your multiple choices and make some comments.

> A. I do not have God’s favor, and therefore he hasn’t given to me a spouse. B. I don’t have a spouse, and because I don’t have a spouse I simply don’t have God’s favor.

This isn't a biblical teaching. I'm not aware of anywhere in the Bible where finding a spouse or getting married are a sign of God's favor.

> C. Any man who finds a wife automatically receives God’s favor by simply being married to her, so being married is a way to guarantee God’s favor while being unmarried could imply you may or may not have God’s favor.

No, this isn't it either. The proverb (18.22) implies that she's a good wife. Other verses from Proverbs reinforce that idea:

Proverbs 12.4: “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown…”
Proverbs 19.14: “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”
Proverbs 31.10-31.

Notice in these verses it's a wife of "noble character," one who is "prudent." There are plenty of verses in Proverbs where just having a wife doesn't turn out so great:

Proverbs 19.13: A foolish child is a father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof.
Proverbs 21.9: Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 21.19: Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.
Proverbs 23.27: for an adulterous woman is a deep pit, and a wayward wife is a narrow well.
Proverbs 27.15: A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm;

So it's not just having a wife that guarantees you automatically have the Lord's favor, simply by being married to her.

> D. God’s favor is quantitative, meaning I can have either more or less of it, and having a wife is one way to gain some of His favor.

No, what the text is really saying is that if you have a good wife, you should thank God. Not that a good wife is rare, but a good wife is a treasure and a blessing.


If I were to paraphrase this verse, I would write: "If you found a good wife, you have found a precious relationship, and you should thank God every day for this treasure and blessing."


> Could you elaborate on this passage for me?

Tremper Longman also points out:

Proverbs’ teaching on the difference between a good wife and a strange woman reflects the difference between a relationship with personified Wisdom and Folly, figurative language that ultimately points to the conflict between true and false religion. Whybray points out that the language of finding a wife reflects the language of 8.35b, which refers to finding Woman Wisdom.



Hey, feel free to discuss this further if you want.


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