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[Newbie]

I can't quite grasp that God know all my thoughts and feelings. It's as if he's reading my diary all the time, peeking over my shoulder, and poking in to my secrets. Isn't it weird that someone else knows all your stuff? I believe that there are thoughts that I have that are only mine. They are my secrets that I don't have to share with anyone. It's something I value very much—top 10 values in my life. I find it disturbing that other people might be watching, listening, e.g., NSA, Big Brother. When I was younger, my parents. Although, I should note that my parents never violated my privacy. It was as sacred to them as it is to me.

Clearly there are no secrets from your God. What does that feel like? Can you explain it?

[jimwalton]

Sure. I find it refreshing rather an intrusive, and I'll explain why. There have been some times when I knew I had done something wrong, and I was on a massive campaign to protect the secret. After a while a person becomes a nervous wreck: stay out of my room, don't look at the paper on my desk, hey what are you doing with my phone. At best it's nerve-wracking, and at worst it's paranoia to the extreme. That's at the worst extreme, but sometimes you have good thoughts, but they're just private. After a while, though, if they're really good, you want to find someone you can trust to share them with, someone to smile with you.

Let's go back to worst-case scenario. Sometimes, as horrid as it is, it's a relief to be found out, to stop all the skulking and lying and hiding. It can be quite therapeutic and cleansing. And, I think what are the worst fears is that the people you love and who love you will think less of you, or stop loving you.

Now, I'll move on to what it feels like with God. There's never any skulking, lying, hiding, trembling fear. He knows. He always knew. Sure, sometimes it's convicting, but it should be. When I've done wrong, and my friends know about it, I expect them to call me on it. I would be disappointed in them if they didn't. If my friends don't stop me from ruining myself, my relationships, and my life, who can I count on? That's God. It's not invasive, it's cleansing. And there is no fear that he will ever stop loving me, walk away from me, or think less of me. Romans 8.38-39, if you want to look it up.

And when I'm keeping a secret that's good, and it just percolates inside of me, God knows that, too.

No secrets, no fears, no walls.