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[The Bard]

Is it wrong to say at funerals that people "are in a better place"? Considering the common belief that only God can judge a final destination, when someone dies, is it wrong to say they are in heaven? I realize that there are many different interpretations on just about any part of the Bible, but the way most Christians I know interpret the issue of a final "resting place" is that only God can judge and only God knows. Most Christians I know would say it is wrong of someone to say that so and so is burning in hell, because you don't know what was on their heart when they died, and you don't know how God will judge them.

However, I have never heard anyone say the same thing when they heard someone say that so and so is in a better place now. Why is it okay to believe and tell others that someone who has died is in Heaven, but wrong to say that they are in Hell? God's judgement would necessarily go both ways, and if only he knows who is in Hell, then only he would know who is in Heaven. Is this just something that Christians don't care about because saying someone is in Hell is malicious and can hurt other's, but saying they are in Heaven brings comfort? Or do you think I am looking at this the wrong way?

[jimwalton]

I like what Sanctus12 said. It's a sticky area, because at a funeral is no time to say, "Well, that guys burning in hell!!" It's not only insensitive, but cruel. I think it's wrong to say they're in heaven. It's just a lie to say "they're in a better place." We can maybe say that their physical suffering is over, that we'll miss them, that we never want to forget them...There are a lot of nice things to say without the lie of "oh, they're in a better place." A funeral is a time for comfort, but it's also a time to reflect on life and the afterlife with some honesty. People at a funeral are often thinking about their own mortality, and so it can be an appropriate time to talk about such things, but never in a cruel or thoughtless way.

Certainly only God truly knows who is going to heaven and who to hell, but the Bible gives us several ways to be able to make those assessments with fair accuracy. That's how Christians can say, sometimes with 99.99999% certainty, that a person is in heaven, and how it can be known with the same certainty that another person is not. Sure, everyone once in while people are wrong about such things, and only God knows the deep truth—he'll never get it wrong.

So I think you're looking at it OK. It's not that Christians don't care that someone is in hell, but it's outright cruel and malicious to say such things in times of grief. Assurance of heaven, however, is a great comfort to those who have lost a loved one, so that's a reassuring thing to say to someone in grief.

The "they're in a better place" line is an attempt at comfort that gives a false sense of security where "none" is warranted. We should drop such language from our words of comfort (yeah, like THAT is ever going to happen).