Dexterslab, I've asked a couple of others to weigh in on your question as well; I want you to get a good answer. To be totally honest with you (and I always strive to be totally honest), there are different theories of atonement that theologians love to discuss. "Penal Substitutionary Atonement" is only one of them. Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia, "Propitiation" as an example:
"Theologians stress the idea of propitiation because it specifically addresses the aspect of the Atonement dealing with God's wrath. Critics of penal substitutionary atonement state that seeing the Atonement as appeasing God is a pagan idea that makes God seem tyrannical (See for example, Stricken by God?, ed. Brad Jersak, Eerdmans: 2007 or Be Ye Reconciled by Paul Peter Waldenstrom).
"J.I. Packer in "Knowing God" designates a distinct difference between pagan and Christian propitiation: "In paganism, man propitiates his gods, and religion becomes a form of commercialism and, indeed, of bribery. In Christianity, however, God propitiates his wrath by his own action. He set forth Jesus Christ... to be the propitiation of our sins." [3]
"John Stott writes that propitiation "does not make God gracious...God does not love us because Christ died for us, Christ died for us because God loves us" (The Cross of Christ, p 174). John Calvin, quoting Augustine from John's Gospel cx.6, writes, "Our being reconciled by the death of Christ must not be understood as if the Son reconciled us, in order that the Father, then hating, might begin to love us" (Institutes, II:16:4). Continuing the quote: "... but that we were reconciled to him already, loving, though at enmity with us because of sin. To the truth of both propositions we have the attestation of the Apostle, 'God commendeth his love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us,' (Rom. 5: 8.) Therefore he had this love towards us even when, exercising enmity towards him, we were the workers of iniquity. Accordingly in a manner wondrous and divine, he loved even when he hated us." [4] See
http://www.spurgeon.org/~phil/calvin/bk ... l#four.htm"Packer also cites God's love as the impetus that provides Christ's sacrifice for the atonement of mankind and hence the removal of God's wrath. [5] According to Packer, propitiation and the wrath of God that propitiation implies is necessary to properly define God's love; God could not be righteous and "His love would degenerate into sentimentality (without Christ's atonement containing aspects of propitiation).The wrath of God is as personal, and as potent, as his Love."[6]
"Thus the definition of Christian propitiation asserted by Calvin, Packer and Murray holds that within God there is a dichotomy of love and anger, but through propitiation love trumps anger, abolishing it. "'The doctrine of the propitiation is precisely this that God loved the objects of His wrath so much that He gave His own Son to the end that He by His blood should make provision for the removal of this wrath... (John Murray, The Atonement, p.15)'"[7]
I want to comment a little about the "Sacrifice" issue you mentioned. It's true that God didn't command Abel's sacrifice (that is recorded for us), but it does specifically tell us that "the Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering" (Gn. 4.4). Abel's offering wasn't a blood offering, and it doesn't seem to be aimed at atonement, but more likely as a gift. Atoning blood offerings aren't common until the time of the Exodus.
Walton, Matthews & Chavalas say, "There have been many theories about what thinking was represented in the sacrificial system. In some cultures sacrifice was viewed as a means of caring for the deity by providing food. Others saw the sacrifice as a gift to please the god and request his aid. In other contexts the sacrifices have been viewed as a means of entering into relationship with deity or maintaining that relationship. These are only a few of over a dozen possibilities. The history of animal sacrifice is difficult to trace."
There is no notion, however, that God set up the sacrificial system as an appeasing compromise (as with the monarchy). You seem to think it could be the same, but there's no written revelation that even hints at that. The sacrificial system is initiated and established by God to deal with thanksgiving (grain offering; fellowship offering), propitiation (burnt offering, sin offering), and purification (sin offering). God desired the sacrifice, but the point was that the sacrifices were a physical expression of their heart desires for God. God's objections in years later (Isaiah, Hosea) is that practice of sacrifice was used as an act in itself, completely divorced from heart desires and a relationship with God, and that was God's problem with it. "You missed the whole point!" he could have just as well said. Sacrifice by itself, as a disjointed act, was worthless.
The Law was supposed to show people how to live, not how to perform some sacerdotal act that justified them while allowing them to continue to live in sin, rebellion, and disobedience. God's point was atonement AND loving, obedient devotion. Christ, like the OT, preached attitudes (Mt. 5) as well as actions (Jn. 8.46).
I have also talked to a rabbi about The Day of Atonement (Lev. 16). He said to me: "The Day of Atonement was instituted after the defiling of the tabernacle by Aaron’s son’s, Nadab & Abihu (Lev. 10). It is instructed in Leviticus 16. But what exactly is being purified away by the blood? Sin or contamination? It was the contamination of the tabernacle that was being purified, not the sin of the men. The blood—the life force—purifies the 'death' that entered the temple.
Now, Ezekiel talks about 'purification from sin.' Here ritual impurity is equated with moral lapses, perhaps even extending from unintentional sin to intentional sin.
We don’t have to cleanse the temple now with blood, because there is no temple. So there is no reason for blood to be shed for atonement. The blood didn’t atone for sin anyway; it only cleansed from contamination. What atones for sin is good works: 'Good deeds do I require, not sacrifice.'
Yom Kippur is telling the story. And we ask God to forgive our sins and failures. Yom Kippur gives us a sense of hope that relationship with God can be renewed because God forgives us. Our repentance is what atones, and our good works assure it."
Now, see, that's way different from the way we Christians perceive things. It's salvation by works.
You commented that Jesus said he gave his life for ransom, but not for whom. You are no doubt aware of the theological debate surround that subject:
Christ died for the whole world (universal atonement; sublapsarianism)
Christ died for the elect (limited atonement or Particularism, supralapsarianism; infralapsarianism)
As you can see, these discussions get pretty involved, include deep Bible exegesis, and still Christians disagree. There are also different cultural perspectives (guilt cultures like the West vs. shame cultures of the East). So whether or not you subscribe to Penal Substitutionary Atonement is a matter of study, discernment, and prayer.
I hope that helps. I feel like my answer is getting too long. We can certainly talk more.