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[Reconnoiter]

Jim,

My coworker told me that his pastor did not allow a woman in the church to be a deaconess only because her husband isn't a practicing christian and doesn't attend their church. What are your thoughts?

[jimwalton]

Wow. Great question. From the outset I'll be clear that the Bible doesn't say anything about a matter so specific, so anything I say will be my opinion. In that same vein, I can say that the position this pastor and his church has taken is also their opinion, since there is no teaching in the Bible to guide us in such a matter. I will also say that it is a church's right to stake a position in church matters where the Bible has not spoken or is unclear.

But I'll give you my opinion. It is a common interpretation of 1 Timothy 3.4-5 that if a deacon's household is in moral or spiritual disarray, it generally disqualifies that individual from serving as a deacon for the very obvious and specific reason given in the text.

Keener comments:

"Politicians were often evaluated by how well their children obeyed them; it had long been accepted that the family was a microcosm of society and that a leader first needed to demonstrate his leadership skills in the home. Men in Paul’s day exercised a great deal of authority over their wives and children. That children’s behavior reflected on their parents was a commonplace of ancient wisdom. This factor may have been especially important for leaders of churches meeting in their own homes; but again, it is based on a premise of patriarchal ancient culture (where properly disciplined children usually obeyed) not directly, completely applicable to all societies."

Hiebert says,

"A minister’s character is portrayed and seen to best advantage in the framework of his own family."

Richard Hays:

"One of the primary qualifications for an overseer is that he must manage his household well. (The institution of the household provides the controlling metaphor for the church in this letter.) The church becomes the Greco-Roman household writ large, and the authority of the household head becomes the model for the exercise of authority in the church."

But how any of that applies to a woman whose husband is not a believer is beyond me. But it possibly depends how all this came about. If she was disobedient to the Lord and, as a Christian, married an unbeliever, well, that could be a reflection of her response to the authority of God and his word. But if she became a believer later, then 1 Cor. 7.13-14 becomes relevant, and she is not to be held responsible for her husband's unresponsiveness.

Therefore it would be my opinion that she be allowed to serve as a deaconess. While parents are to some extent responsible for how their children behave, it's not true that a wife is responsible for how her husband behaves.

[Reconnoiter]

Thanks, as always, for your response!