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[PowerlessProdigal]

I am a musician. I have often found myself in positions of leadership; children’s/youth ministry, worship ministry/youth band, studio manager and student body chaplain at my college, and a current worship internship at my church, to name a few. I am currently studying music with the intention to focus on songwriting and producing music. Over and over again, I am given offers of joining or leading or helping worship teams at churches because people see me as a godly person with a good head on my shoulders who is loving and a good musician, or something along those lines. I have a professor who is constantly trying to push me to being an on-staff worship leader when I get done with college, and to simply doing everything else (the things I actually WANT to do) in tandem. I also have a friend who was dumbfounded by the fact that I DON’T want to be a worship leader, and wouldn’t stop arguing with me over why he thinks I should be. I am sick of hearing from people that I should be a worship leader, because I absolutely have no intention to be and the more I’m a part of it the less I want to do it. I don’t even really enjoy “worship music,” the majority of my worship comes from surrendering my talents and abilities with the congregation as an act of service for THEIR sake, and even then I feel like I have to fake it in front of the congregation when I don’t “feel it” but I’m “responsible to lead people into celebration.”

I don’t want to be a worship leader, or a worship pastor, and I’m sick of feeling pigeonholed and shoehorned into it because I follow Jesus and I’m a musician. I feel like a slave to the church to satisfy their desires based on what they think is good and right, rather than a part of the body. I don’t want to be like Jonah and run from something the Lord may be calling me to, or even more accurately I don’t want to be like Jonah by not loving people.

Does God actively, personally, particularly call us to specific areas of ministry like on-staff worship leadership? If He does, how do I know He is calling me to it? I feel like there’s this unspoken shame if I don’t become a worship leader, as if I’m being disobedient by not wanting to be a worship leader. I feel as if no value is given to people who just want to write and perform music, who want to create rather than be on staff at a church leading a worship ministry. Or at least, as if there is no value given to me if I don’t become a worship leader. I feel a sense of disappointment and this thought of “We know better than you and you’re screwing your life up by not doing what we think you should be doing.”

[jimwalton]

Great question, and I'm glad you asked. Sorry I haven't answered in 5 days; I've been away.

I have several replies, so let me wander through them, and then we can discuss them.

First, just because you have a physical talent doesn't mean that God is necessarily calling you in that direction. Some people, like yourself it sounds like, have multiple talents and multiple interests, and you can't possibly serve God in all of them as a full-time minister. I myself have talents in youth ministry, music (as yourself), pastoral work, administrative work, teaching, etc. So I simply cannot be a full-time youth pastor (as many people say I should be), a full-time worship leader (as many people say I should be), a senior pastor (as many people say I should be), an executive pastor, a college pastor, a children's pastor, and a teacher all at the same time, or even in sequence. I've been a worship leader for 4 years; didn't like it at all. I've been a senior pastor—didn't like it. Your "call" is a matter of your gifts, talents, passions, desires, and the nudging of the Spirit. It's far more complex than most people will allow or understand. So don' let them push you around. If you aren't feeling it, then that's a great indicator you aren't being called in that direction.

Second, every talent is not a spiritual gift. We know that talents and gifts are different. Just because you have talent in an area doesn't mean that's how God shows Himself through you, and even if He does, that doesn't mean you need to go in that direction with your ministry. I have seen people with great talent in, say, finance, but when we put them on a finance board, they're like a bull in a china shop. I've even seen people with godly hearts wreak pure havoc on an elder board. It's more than just, "Hey, what's your talent?", and then that's where you should serve.

Third, I even question this whole notion of "call." (Shhhh, don't tell all my evangelical friends!). I see clearly that Paul was called to his ministry. And obviously so were all of the apostles, and people like James, Jesus's brother. But frankly, to be as honest with you as I can, almost every time the Bible uses the word "call," it's talking about SALVATION. The Bible tells us people are called to salvation. What the Bible actually teaches is that every Christian is called to ministry, but it doesn't even claim that each of us is called to a specific ministry. We are each given Spiritual gifts for the work of ministry, and that's what the Bible stands on and teaches. Because Paul was called specifically to his ministry, evangelicals extrapolate that to mean all of us are called to our specific ministries, but I don't see that in the Bible anywhere. If you can find it, I'd love to discuss it.

Every church I've worked for wanted me to write about (on an application form), and then talk about it in the interview my specific call to ministry. But I'll be honest with you (again), I've seen plenty of people in ministry that didn't belong in ministry, and they didn't last long. They "misunderstood" the call, or manufactured it, or something, because they wanted to go into ministry. But it wasn't right for them. Some saw that themselves later, but some didn't. And then there are other situations where the church confirmed a minister's "call," and then fired them a few years later. What's up with THAT??? But it happens A LOT. So this whole "call" thing is just very suspect to me. I think people work hard to put a spiritual patina on the work they want to do, the person they want to hire, the church they want to go to ("God is calling me to this position), or the church they want to leave ("God is calling me elsewhere"). But I'm very suspect of so much of it.

Fourth, and final (and then we can start to discuss all of what you said and all of what I have said), knowing what ministry God wants you involved in is a matter of your passions (the direction of your heart), desires (what you want to do), talents (what you're good at), spiritual gifts (where the Spirit has gifted you), and where you find success (because sometimes despite all this, people just don't have the personality to serve in the way they feel "called" or "led." I mean, for real, some people have the passion and desire and talents and gifts, but they're abrasive or bossy or have anger issues or they're too non confrontational, or dozens of other things.

Instead, we used as much wisdom as we can muster, weigh all the factors (passions, etc.), and make the best decisions we can. And even then, things change. Your "calling" for a few years may not be where you want to be later. People "called" to youth ministry sometimes after a few years are tired of it. People "called" to music ministry get tired of just picking songs and rehearsing bands, and they want to move into teaching or whatever. Just as an aside, I agree with you that most worship music is banal, lacks creativity in both chordal and melodic senses, and is often lyrically stagnant (but those are just my opinions as a musician).

So I would say: Pay no mind to the "call" lingo. Be filled with the Spirit and walk in the Spirit. In the course of ministry, He may direct you all over the place, in and out of ministries, in and out of places, and your passions and tolerances will continue changing and evolving as the Spirit leads you. Yes, I know that some will say, "Then that was your call!" Ah, whatever. They can call it what they want. I don't see that emphasis in the Bible, as I explained. I generally avoid the "call" language and just use common words. People will hear what they want to hear.

So, I've gotten us started here. Feel free to reply and I'm glad to discuss this further with you.